First off, apologies for my “voice”. I've been watching a lot of Dr. Who recently,
and have apparently regressed to my original dialect (sort of a just-north-of-London
one I got growing up in Cambridge). So, if *I* have to cope with it, you
bleeding well have to as well. See? We’re all in agreement. Brilliant!
Right, so the thing about blogging and posting and tweeting
is that it’s a two-edged sword, with one edge of the blade being your readers
get to know a lot about you, and the other one being – well, your readers get
to learn a lot about you.
This can be problematic if you are a mild-mannered and
pleasant Dr. Jekyll in person, but turn into an opinionated, obnoxious and right
proper git of a Hyde online. Most sane people (regardless of whether or not they
agree with you) will back away from you in real life and be much more wary,
stunting your social life considerably. Hopefully, I have managed to avoid this
particular trap, but feel free to smack me if not.
Another pitfall is that you overshare. You overshare your
passion for – oh, I dunno – Lego Porn or mosquito babies or something, and post
dozens of photos of the little bloodsuckers everyday with annoying comments
about how adorable ‘ickle pookums is or “just look at the number of bricks it
took to make THIS orgy” while the rest
of us recoil in horror. So, if this is you, for the love of Baby Jesus, please
stop. Now. Thanks ever so.
On the other hand (and, like Tevye, I have several
metaphorical hands so this could get interesting), you open yourself up to your
readers in a very unusual way. They get to know far more about you, your
interests, woes and emotions - and that makes you vulnerable. You have to take
a leap of faith that this won’t backfire in some horrible way, and simply write
what you feel compelled to - what you love. And trust your readers.
So far, nothing I've written in this blog or on other social
media has truly come back to haunt me, but the same cannot be said about text
messages. Because they are often context-free zones, and I am a very literal
person – I am often left to guess about the meaning, emotions or background associated
with the content, with the only thing to go on being the words directly in
front of me. On far too many occasions, I have guessed wrong, with unhappy
results. So, still lots of work left to
do there, me.
But, on the other hand discovering that your kid enjoys
reading your blogs because they find out something interesting about their dad
each time is brilliant. I mean, after years of the usual teen-vs.-parent
struggle we've been through, to find a medium that lets you connect in a new
way is, well, fantastic, yeah?
Then again, on the other hand (toldyaso), is this *too much*
information for kids to have about their parents? I mean, it’s fine for my son,
since he’s an adult and I’m totally cool with him at this age understanding
that his dad is a human being with weaknesses, doubts, and problems. But what
if you are a blogger talking about all sorts of personal things and your Tween kid
stumbles on it? Doesn't that blow your air of authority right out of the water?
I grew up in a time where children knew very little about their parents, apart
from the usual up-front stuff: home town, interests, relatives, etc. Nothing
about emotions, problems or anything that was not to be discussed “in front of
the kids”.
As a child, I only saw my dad cry once – and that was when I
opened the bedroom door without knocking. I had no idea what his struggles
were, and so I thought he was above them. This made him seem invincible and all-knowing,
which was helpful, no doubt, in keeping me in line. But these days, we there is
a tendency to tell everyone about yourself in painstaking detail.
Every Tweet, every post, every blog and – yes – every text –
reveals to the world a little more about the real *you*. The you who in
previous times, only your closest, most intimate of friends or family members
would know. Now – if you’re not careful – it’s all out there for the world to
see. And maybe that’s a good thing – makes us all more open, more accessible.
Or, it could be very bad, as people who care not at all for you use all that
free information to damage your family, yourself, and your reputation.
I’m not saying that we should all go back to the bygone days
of pen-and-paper, mailed correspondences. Just that we should have a care when
talking about things – innocent things even, like “I’m at a party with
so-and-so” letting your readers know you aren't at home and the house is empty.
Or that so-and-so is with you when he/she said they were somewhere else.
It’s a tricky, tricky thing, this free and easy information.
It’ll be interesting to see how it will continue to shape and change our
digital society – and ourselves.
